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 by Richard Nicastro, PH.D.
An affair takes an enormous emotional, physical and spiritual toll on any committed relationship. The very foundation that a relationship is built upon—trust, commitment and loyalty—are shattered, and the post-affair relationship is sometimes unsalvageable because the sense of betrayal runs so deep.
In most instances, affairs don’t happen without warning signs. The person contemplating an affair doesn’t wake up one morning and on the spot decide to betray his/her partner. Becoming affair-prone occurs gradually, and often people are unaware that the seeds of infidelity are being planted.
It is impossible to accurately predict if a person will decide to cheat on his/her partner. There are, however, certain conditions that, if set in motion, can lead to you or your partner becoming affair-prone.
Despite our best intentions at the start of the relationship, under certain circumstances (sometimes painful, extenuating ones), almost anyone can be vulnerable to having an affair. Therefore, becoming aware of the conditions that lead to this vulnerability should be a priority for all relationships.
5 conditions that can make you or your partner affair-prone:
A misunderstanding of normal relationship phases. All relationships and marriages go through a series of changes, some painful. For instance, relationships often begin in the honeymoon phase, where excitement, passion and an intense connection with your partner is the norm. Around the two-year mark (this varies from couple to couple), your relationship leaves this blissful phase and enters a stage where conflict and disagreements are more likely. The personality differences between you and your partner become more apparent and you may find that the relationship is starting to feel like a series of painful compromises and negotiations. It is easy to feel disillusioned and affair-prone at this point, especially if you misinterpret these inevitable changes as evidence that you’re with the wrong person.
Avoidance of important issues. Failure to address issues that are important to you or your partner can erode intimacy and cause you to feel lonely. It is a painful irony to feel alone while in a relationship that is meant to offer intimacy and connection. Lily from San Diego described the destructive effects of avoiding important relationship issues:
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 What do you give someone who is celebrating their 1st wedding anniversary? The traditional gift for the husband to give his wife on the occasion of their 1st anniversary is an eternity ring. This gift symbolizes that their love and lives together will last through eternity. However, there are numerous other 1st anniversary gift ideas that anyone can use. It is important to know the couple well and to choose according to their interests. This is true for the couple giving gifts to each other.
For the man or woman that loves books, the gift of a book is very appropriate for this occasion. This can be a book of poetry or a book about your spouse passion or hobby. The sports enthusiast would love a book about his/her favourite team, for example. Write a little love note inside the cover of the book so that it will always be a memento of this occasion. This really fits in with the theme of this anniversary ?paper.
Just about all couples celebrate their first anniversary by taking a romantic trip, whether it is a weekend or a longer trip. Friends could get together and chip in on a weekend at a cozy retreat or even give the couple a gift certificate for a romantic dinner at their favourite restaurant. Being creative with this theme is the fun of celebrating the anniversary. Love notes left around the house, paper decorations, coupons for gifts they can choose at their favourite store ?these are inexpensive gifts that relay your feelings of being thoughtful on this special day.
Anyone that enjoys scrapbooking could prepare a gift that would last forever with a scrapbook for the couple. There are many themes you could use for this scrapbook, such as pictures of the couple while they were dating, pictures of their engagement, pictures showing their wedding preparations and pre-wedding parties and a scrapbook of the wedding pictures. This is something that they will treasure and keep. Add funny comments to the pictures to make the gift that much more special.
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